Old Jokes
by abaikgirl
Summary: SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 31! drabble on the famous fight scene between Envy and Greed. I love this scene too much to NOT write about it. Enjoy.


I love this scene so much! grin I don't own FMA, but Envy does live in my head.

Reviews are loved!

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Water lapped gently against the rocky shore of Yok island. A wooden boat landed on the shore, several chimeras climbing out to secure it in place. A State alchemist was among them and the rogue homunculus called Greed. His black hair shone in the noon light and his glasses flashed maliciously. There was another homunculus near-by. Wrath, the newest addition to the sins. The thought of him having him as an ally made the tall sin grin eagerly, razor sharp teeth exposed.

Satisfied the boat was tied up properly, Greed looked at his chimera's. "Shall we go?" he asked them.

Before an answer could be delivered, a cool, cocky voice cut the air, "Well hello, ultimate shield." Greed's violet eyes widened in surprise. He knew that voice well, that sadistic arrogant tone that he doubted he would ever be happy to hear greet him. The look of surprise soon vanished as he turned to look up the side of the cliff where the loathsome older sin stood.

"Well hello ultimate….oh wait," he pretended to chide himself, "You like to be called abomination now, don't you?" Old jokes. Old insults. Words well known and well practiced between the ancient beings. Greed was hoping to use his vague allusion to Envy's least favorite nickname to wipe that smug look off his face.

Envy wasn't buying it, too pleased with himself at the moment to buy into any of Greed's jeers. "You were sealed away for nearly a century and you still haven't learned your lesson, Greed?" he sneered at him.

"Yes, well sorry if my jokes are a bit stale, it's hard to keep my jokes current in a cell," he replied, unfazed by the jab made at his imprisonment. The weakness exposed by the century in a cell.

This was a dance of words, a dance both of them had traced and retraced millions of times. They spoke in coded language, sending underlying and brutal messages to the other that no language could hold or properly convey. The anger shared between Envy and Greed was aged and deep. They lived along side each other for nearly two hundred years and still, they didn't get along.

"What did you do with the skull?" envy drawled. He was ready to cut to the chase, tiring easily of the old game.

A flicker of anger and fear crossed Greed's face. He silently cursed the green-haired being atop the cliff. He masked his emotions quickly, "Why I smashed it into little pices, of course."

Envy was delighted at the words and emotions he saw, "Oh I see, you've taken it and hidden it somewhere. Don't worry, I'll find it and put you right back where you were."

"Like I'd let you," Greed replied, his grin turning into a snarl as he jumped up the cliff with inhuman speed. Black carbon covered his hands as he slashed and kicked at Envy. The oldest sin reacted quickly, jumping back and out of the way. This was a dance they also knew well. They were brothers who fought endlessly. Envy, the oldest brother was pompous, haughty and blatantly disgusted at the role of brother Dante pushed upon him. Greed, the rebellious, smug younger sin, who questioned and picked at everything his older brother told him. He pushed things until they broke. Or they broke him. They knew how the other worked; they knew how the other fought. After only a few moments, Envy spun up and back, not a single blow landed.

Envy smirked at him, almost daring him to come at him again. Greed retracted his shield.

"I hear we have another addition to the family," he said, motives blatant.

"He has nothing to do with you, Greed," envy replied simply, scolding him in his mocking "big brother knows best" tone he tortured Greed with so long ago.

"Oh? But I still want to be free and in order to do that, I need more allies," Greed explained to him, ell aware his brother already knew this.

"That's too bad," Envy replied, still slightly giddy with his pleasure.

Greed wanted nothing more than to wipe that smug smirk off his face with a hard blow to Envy's thin frame. Envy was up to something. He was terrible at hiding his enjoyment of his situation when he was up to no good.

Thoughts of breaking every bone in Envy's body were disrupted quickly as the sound of rushing water filled the air. Greed whipped around to see a tornado of water materialize behind him, scooping up the chimeras easily. Then it dissipated, sending them all to the ground with loud thuds and cries.

The water formed a woman with long dark hair wearing a conservative secretary's outfit.

"Hello Sloth," Envy greeted her, his hands going to their familiar position as he rested them on his hips.

Greed was taken aback and looked at his brother with shock, "Sloth?" he glared at the new homunculus, "So someone with that name was born?"

"There's a new Lust too," Envy half-informed, half-bragged, "That means there's seven of us for the first time in a long time."

Sloth looked at him with a soft smile that reeked of sly intentions, "It's a pleasure to meet you Greed," she said.

Greed's face noticeably twitched with contempt as conflicting and angry thoughts filled his mind.

This woman almost killed his pawns.

She was on Envy's side.

Against him.

She had a lot of nerve attacking them like that….

Envy, that little bastard knew she was lurking around….

She almost killed my chimeras. My….

He forced himself to calm down, his whole body relaxing as he smiled. "I may be Greedy, but I'm not stupid," he said holding his hands up, "I have no intention of fighting two homunculi at the same time. See ya," he turned and leaped off the cliff. He and his chimeras were gone in a mater of minutes.

"Oh well," sloth sighed.

Envy smiled and shrugged. Typical greed. See a chance take it. Not a chance in hell, well…he was annoying but he knew when to get out of the race. If it was just Envy, it was anyone's bet who would win. It would all depend one what insults were thrown, how badly provoked they were, how badly they wanted to win….

But with Sloth in the equation it was a different story. Greed would retreat for now.

"We'll have to take care of him later," Sloth said as she watched them go, a smile playing on her lips.


End file.
